You think it’s all fun and games until…

You think it’s glamourous and exhilarating until…

You think it’s empowering and completely doable until…

…you hit a bump. It may seem perfect on Instagram but no one talks about the hardest parts of solo travel. Absolutely no one. We want to paint a picture that all is well because we don’t want to hear the dreaded, “told you so” from the naysayers. I sure as hell don’t. So I cover it up with pretty pictures and interesting Instagram stories. No one likes to talk about the hard parts of travelling solo but I’m gonna talk about it anyway…

1. No one to take pictures of yourself

Unflattering selfies? Awkward poses? We’ve all been there. This is why we resort to asking strangers to take pictures of us. But they sometimes don’t understand the assignment and just take one picture of you. You’d be lucky if they take one but that’s not always the case. You can’t ask them to retake it anyway because, well, they might have stuff to do and/or places to go. This is why I invested in a self-time tripod. It could still be embarrassing to set up one though. And of course, there’s still that chance of getting your set-up snatched. But let’s not go there.

2. Watching your stuff

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to lug my stuff around just to go to the bathroom or even to get a cup of tea. It’s a nuisance. It’s a hassle. Over the years, I’ve learned to pack strategically and light but there are still times when I want to or have to do something but don’t want to lose my spot in a queue. It happens. C’est la vie. But if you had a travel companion, going for a quick bathroom break would be a breeze. And again, you can’t always trust strangers to watch your belongings…

3. The costs

Travelling is already expensive as it is. Some people have to put in tons of hours at work just to pay for one single vacation abroad. Some even have to work multiple jobs. And for some, this might be a once-in-a-blue-moon type of vacation. Money isn’t a joke so I get why some choose not to travel at all. I, personally, have just been extremely lucky that I work in the industry so travel to me is 1) an investment, 2) comes cheap or, 3) sometimes free. My last European solo trip, however, made a huge dent in my savings account. I tried to be prudent and have a well thought out plan where I booked my accommodations, my flights, my pre-booked activities, etc… But I was recovering from a dark moment in my life so I didn’t care if I went a little over my spending. STILL, my solo trip to Europe set me back about $5,000 CAD. It would’ve only been $2,500 CAD if I had a companion but this is solo travel we’re talking about. TIP: sign up for free-walking tours instead! My go to is SANDEMANs NEW Europe.

4. When something goes left

I have been sick on trips before but imagine if you got sick in a country where English isn’t the first language. Reykjavik 2018, I was sick to my stomach. I slept for 19 hours upon arriving to the point where my roommate (I was staying at a hostel) got very worried of me. My hours in Reykjavik were limited so I was extremely disheartened that I was sick. The only time I did get somewhat of my energy back was spent looking for the nearest pharmacy. Turns out that was just half the battle. Every medication they had was in Icelandic. I could not understand a thing. Every ounce of my energy was spent on trying to communicate. If only I had someone to go out to buy me some cold medication then maybe I would’ve had more energy to explore the beautiful Iceland… Maybe.

5. Safety

This should’ve been number 1 in the list but I thought this was already a given. I have received a plethora of negative comments from people who are opposed to solo travel. But because I’m my own person, I will do things my own way. Now, I can be a real klutz. No, not can be. I am a real klutz. I’m quite known to be clumsy, the problem child, the black red sheep of the family. I wear those names with pride, it’s okay. I guess it’s also my fault as to why my friends and family worry when I travel abroad as a lone wolf. I tend to be careless and have no sense of personal safety. When you travel alone, there is only one person you can rely on: yourself. You’re always on-guard and have your walls up. You’re sensitive to your surroundings. You can’t nap on public transportations for the fear of missing your stop, or worse, getting mugged. There’s a lot of variables when it comes to safety.

6. Doing all the planning

I personally enjoy planning itineraries (I mean, duh, that’s what I do for a living). But I can’t lie, it’s tiresome and overwhelming sometimes. It’s especially hard when I cannot make up my mind. Reading flight times and bus schedules, sorting through a bunch of train schedules and stops, Google-mapping directions, weighing out the pros and cons of multiple options – it’s draining. It isn’t pretty. Sometimes I wish there was someone I could split the work with but even that’s a task itself.

7. Not getting to share and try everything

So I’m a foodie. I’m experimental and adventurous so I love trying different kinds of food – chicken gizzards, chicken heart, century egg, the infamous balut, etc. An ex and I made arrangements on our trips that we would order different things from the menu and share them. This way, we could try everything! That only works when you have a travel companion, obviously. One time in Spain, at Restaurante La Boqueria Barcelona, I wanted to try a bunch of tapas but I only had one stomach to feed so I, unfortunately, couldn’t. See, this is why, when you travel alone, you won’t have the luxury of ordering 13 things at once; you have no one to share with! Bummer!

8. Coming home

And finally, the hardest part of travelling solo is coming home. Say it ain’t so. Yes, indeed. The difficulty of physically and mentally transitioning back to your home country is tough. You have to tell yourself to go back to the grind, that you’ll be soon faced with reality again. Back to your city lifestyle or whatever it may be. Saying goodbye to places you’ve fallen in love with and to people you’ve befriended along the way is extremely difficult. I admit, I’ve had those feelings before. After living in Nova Scotia for three months, I struggled to come back to Ontario. I had to wrangle my own thoughts. I felt conflicted being back in Ontario because I had already gotten so used to living in Lunenburg. I had already fallen in love with the way of life in Nova Scotia. I had already established a personal identity there. Home may be where the wifi connection is strong. But home is where your heart is – wherever it is in the world.

So, no matter how much I romanticize solo travel (as a woman) or how much I encourage you to travel alone, everything comes with a price. Yes, I have all these memories and stories I can brag about but I also have these bad experiences to talk about. Yes, I promote solo travel (it’s good for your soul, I promise). Yes, I am a huge fan of being your own person and doing things alone. But solo travel does come with consequences that you have to be okay with. My suggestion? Try joining small group adventures first. This one will definitely start a spark in you!

With grace and grit,

Red